A bumpy start to 2018

The first week of January i sat myself down pritty much like i do at the beginning of every year; and came up with 10 new years resolutions. I call them resolutions but really they are goals for me to strive for in 2018. Same same really. I won’t bore you with all 10 of them but my main three are;

1) Open up my new business 

2) Save money for the future 

3) Eat Healthier

Three weeks into the new year and i have started up my new business however been sick on and off has made this somewhat of a challenge. Given that i am a nanny for young children, it is very difficult to carry out day to day duties when feeling unwell. Gotta build up that immune system!! 

The second i am yet to begin and the third ‘eat healthier’ i have began by drinking water and only water. First step get rid of soft drinks/drinking redbulls; second limit chip/chocolate and sugar intake. Its a working progress.

January 2018 has been an emotional roller coaster really… so far. In one week i went to both a wedding and a funeral. A celebration of love vs a celebration of life. Whilst the wedding was absolutely beautiful, on a beach and a joyous celebration of two peoples love for one another; the funeral left me feeling flat… 

The fact that there was nothing i could say to my best friend who has just lost the love of her life to make things better left me feeling somewhat helpless. Don’t get me wrong she knows i am there for her and thats enough but still… when something like this happens to someone close to you, it’s natural to want to embrace them in a hug, to want to wrap them in cotton wool and never let them go. 

What a start to 2018. I think i am just going to take each day as it comes, put one foot in front of the other and live in the NOW. Cause if all else fails, NOW is what we’ve got!!

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Dear Diary- Forever Learning

Dear Diary,

It was my second day back at work today and I feel like I never left. Whilst leading up to going back to work I felt mixed emotions of excitement, anxiety, apprehension and determination, now I am left feeling drained. Its my own fault really. 

I approached day one with my to do list, my “this is how I will respond when they say this and do that”… with the expectation to get it all done asap knowing full well this was not possible in the time frame I had given myself. 

People in my workplace often compliment me on my work which is great. Appreciation goes along way. 

Others though make suggests of how I can improve what I do and am doing. This is when my walls go up and I get defensive. Sensitive even. In my head when they are saying “perhaps you can do this/try this”, all I am really hearing is “your doing it all wrong”. Its a warped perception really. My warped perception. 

After taking a step back, sleeping on it and having a good hard think about it though I realise that the people making these suggestions are right. It doesn’t mean I am wrong, they are clearly showing me another way. They are just trying to help me. Support me. The sooner I accept this fact the better off I will be.

Lifes all about helping people and allowing them the opportunity to help you/ to teach you to yeah? I dont know about you but I am forever learning!!

Stay tuned- J